love seems foolish

times change and with that, people change too.

i guess when i met those people, they weren't sure of who they were... maybe still aren't sure of who they are even now. and they're wandering around, searching for their true identity. so when i meet up with them now, they are totally different people than when i met them previously since they're still in the process of finding themselves. i never understood how people could keep up the facade of so many different personalities... it's hard work just trying to be me, let alone pretend to be someone else. it must be absolutely draining.

on a totally different note...

i dislike when i foolishly anticipate something to happen and fully expect it to happen because i will and want it to be so. my mind dwells on the fact for so long and so intensely that i eventually develop a mild headache thinking about it. i throw my heart into it and come crashing down when things don't work out the way i planned. and i do it. every. single. time. and then i blame the other person for bailing out, for making stupid excuses, for letting me down because i had such high expectations, because i'm so focused on the supposed "wrongs" that person has caused me. i know... it's ridiculous really. i know it. you know it. i'm that much smarter because i recognise this as a fault of mine.

and i'm waiting for the day when i quit doing this to others and to myself...